Afterlife
by Pirinitete
Summary: "The worst thing to ever happen to me, turned out to be the only thing that could set me free." Rose left St. Vlad's, Lissa, and a newly restored Dimitri. A part of her died the day she turned her back, but she rose from the ashes infinitely stronger.
1. Chapter 1

"Blood whore!"

My gaze shot to the Moroi that had shouted at me. He looked to be in his early thirty's and had sandy blond hair and ice blue eyes. He was standing at the bar with the Moroi I'd just turned down. I didn't understand vampires. Turn down sex with one, and you're called a blood whore? How on earth did that work?

I ignored them and downed the rest of my drink. It was only lemonade, but I made it look like it was something stronger. Just that little bit extra to make me even more underestimated in case anyone was watching.

I walked to the entrance of the club, making sure to stumble a little. I wasn't sure why, but Moroi and other Dhmapirs could always tell that we weren't human, so to make up for that, I'd learnt to act drunk. The Guardians tended to not count me as a threat once they realized that I was unable to take them out due to my intoxication. And if I'm not a threat, then they didn't pay much attention to me.

Which was good. There was a lot of people that I'm hiding from, and the last thing I needed was to draw attention to myself. But it was in my blood to hunt Strigoi, I couldn't give that up for the world.

I wasn't assigned to anyone, and I was out of the Guardian loop, though I still had a few contacts that kept me up to date. So getting information on Strigoi hide-outs was next to impossible, therefore I had to find them on my own. Which is what brought me here, staking out Moroi clubs hoping to find Strigoi. Over the past few weeks I'd gotten lucky, managing to take down a few. I kept in touch with the local Alchemist, though I never let them know who I was.

Ever since Lissa became Queen, its been a lot harder to be anonymous. I was sure she had my picture sent to every Guardian and Alchemist in the world. Its why every time I went out, I layered on the make up, and even had a few wigs I alternated through.

I was lucky that she didn't have the resources to truly look for me before she became Queen, because I was able to finish my training and get my Promise mark, though learning Russian to do it was challenging. I took a huge risk going to Omsk, and staying with Dimitri's family again. They never once asked what happened, only that they were glad to hear that he'd been restored. They never asked why I left, or why I agreed to finish my training with Viktoria when I'd refused before, and for that I was grateful.

I finished my last few months training with them in Siberia, and even got assigned to a very prestigious royal family.

Then Lissa was crowned Queen, sent out a bloody decree that if anyone heard anything about me, that they must report it to her. Things were difficult after that. The Belikov's stayed loyal, saying nothing of my time with them to either her or Dimitri, and the Head Guardian at my academy also kept quiet, and is still in regular contact with me. He actually gives me my monjlia marks when he can. Everyone else, though, weren't to be trusted.

I'd immersed myself into the human world as my last resort. But I still came out on nights like this to do my part. I couldn't let my training go to waste.

Just as I made it to the door, an arm slid around my waist. A sudden clenching in my stomach told me the arm didn't belong to anyone friendly. I let myself be confused for a second, considering that this wasn't normal for a Strigoi, but I couldn't ignore the nauseous feeling I had. I let him lead me outside to avoid causing a scene, but once he pulled me into an alleyway, I spun out of his reach, pulling out my stake.

I got my first real look at him. There was still some animation in his face, and he wasn't very chalky looking, so I pegged him to be pretty young. But there was no red ring around his irises either. My stomach was telling me he was a Strigoi, but my eyes weren't.

I didn't want to kill something unless I had to, so I hesitated.

"What are you?" I demanded, my voice not betraying how anxious I was.

He didn't answer, instead he lunged for me, baring his two pointed teeth. I pulled my arm up with the stake in it, but not before he reached me. I felt a sharp pain, then a numbness spread through me.

Then it went away, and all I could feel was pain, sharp and intense. I pulled my phone out from under me, not sure when I'd fallen to the ground. I wiped away the blood. Whose blood was that? I pushed a button on my phone, just before I was swept away on a tide of darkness.

**LPOV**

I was in a meeting with the Princes and Princesses when it happened. My heart constricted and I doubled over. The pain was unbearable, darkness was pressing in at me from every direction. I heard shouts but they all seemed so far away.

Every Guardian in the room lurched forward, looking for my attacker. There was nothing to be found, because this… this attack wasn't something they could protect me against. More Guardian surged through the room. So many voices, but I couldn't make out any of the words.

Only one thought crossed my mind before I blacked out.

_Rose._

It was like someone had cut off my limbs. I felt numb, all over, like I couldn't function. It had been three days, and the feeling still hadn't lessened.

I slipped on the plain black sheath and covered my face in make-up. I had to hide the dark circles under my eyes. I pulled on a long sleeved coat, even though it was hot outside. I couldn't let anyone see the fresh scars on my arms. No one could know that I wasn't coping. Many were surprised that I was even holding a memorial service for her, since they all believed that I hate her. Ever since I told her to leave.

I knew how Victor Dashkov's brother Robert felt when his bond mate died. The feeling was indescribable. The most intense pain ever felt. I couldn't breath anymore. But I couldn't let anyone know that. There was still unrest about my position as Queen, and I couldn't give them anything to fuel their fire. I had to appear composed, even though I was dying inside.

The last words I said to her floated around my head, my head that no one else would ever share again, during the entire memorial service.

_Stop being so selfish. You're ruining my life._

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><p><strong><em><em>AN: So this is new for me, writing for VA. It's pretty short so far, and I don't seem to have much of an idea of where I'm going with this, but I'm keen to find out. Do you like it or have any ideas of where this should go? Lemme know :)**


	2. Chapter 2

"Marie! Get the fuck out of bed you lazy shit!"

I rolled over, pulling my pillow on my head, groaning as I went.

"Come on, breakfast is getting cold." The voice was closer, and I tensed knowing what would come.

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled, trying to covertly clutch my blankets closer to my body. Danny wasn't having any of that though. He pulled the covers off me in one quick motion and the blast of cold air was enough to wake me up fully.

"Fuck off," I growled, trying to pull them back.

He laughed, a deep rumbling laugh, and dodged the pillow I half heartedly threw his way. "Come on, Marie. Put something respectable on… though I do love you in that." His voice had taken on a husky tone that was enough to turn me on. He trailed his calloused hand along my bare leg, resting one knee on the bed to get closer.

"What happened to breakfast, huh?" I teased, wiggling closer to his warm, hard body. He shifted, moving so that he was hovering over me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, trying to pull him closer, but he hovered just out of reach.

"Fuck breakfast," he murmured, his lips instantly finding that sensitive spot on my neck.

I sighed with pure bliss, practically purring.

"Mhmmmm, Dimi-" I shoved my lips onto his, cutting myself off before I made a mistake I couldn't take back.

He gasped, and I used that as my opportunity to force my tongue into his mouth. Just as heat was starting to build in me, he pulled back, needing air. "Breakfast," he breathed.

I laughed, and rolled out from under him. I heard him flop onto the bed. When I looked back, his head was propped up on one hand, his eyes studying me. I ignored him and pulled on some sweats I'd chucked on the floor last night.

Decent, I strolled into the kitchen, soft footfalls telling me that Danny was just behind me. Placed neatly and with great care on the table, was a plate full of all my favourite food, a steaming cup of cocoa and a small vase with a single lily in it. I caught my breath and guilt surged in me. I had the sweetest man on earth, and yet I couldn't get a certain Russian Guardian out of my head. God, what was wrong with me?

"Oh Danny, this is so sweet," I mumbled, sitting down and digging in.

He sat down opposite me with an indulgent smile on his beautiful face. "Not hungry aye?"

I flipped him off, not able to speak seeing as half a bagel was currently stuffed in my mouth.

He just laughed.

"Marie, are we ever going to settle down?" His face was suddenly serious, but I ignored it for the moment, studiously staring at my food.

I knew this was coming. We'd been moving from town to town for years now, never staying in one place long enough for a months rent, which was why we were currently in an obsolete motel in an equally obsolete town, its only redeeming quality was that it was near a much bigger city that happened to host a shit load of Strigoi. Danny was - well, we weren't exactly sure what he was. Neither Moroi, Dhampir, nor human. And he sure as hell wasn't a Strigoi. But I'd stumbled across him one night, bleeding and dazed, looking for a phone to call Sydney to get the local Alchemist to clean up the mess I'd left outside a popular Moroi club, which just happened to be a popular Strigoi hunting ground.

I had collapsed just in front of him, and woke up a day later, stripped of clothes and weapons. My silver stake gave me away for what I was, but the ever changing tattoo's on his chest left both of us perplexed. He'd helped me heal and we had formed an alliance. From that night on, we watched each others backs, until it grew to be something more.

Years passed and we had gained a bit of a reputation around the Strigoi world. We could clear a town of them in less than a week. Sad thing is, we couldn't do it by killing them all. Once wind of us reached the Strigoi in the town we were in, they'd scram. Not willing to take the chance with us. We'd learnt to be more sneaky over the years, but it was still hard.

We had a good system. An excellent one. One that he now wanted to change.

I couldn't let that happen. For so many reasons. I had to tell him. From the day I woke up, I swore that no one would ever know the truth, but if I couldn't trust Danny, then my entire life has been a waste.

I took a sip of my cocoa, letting the scalding liquid dwell in my mouth a moment, anything to prolong what was coming.

Carefully, I set the cup down and laced my fingers together. "Danny…" God, how the hell was I meant to start this.

"What do you know about Rose Hathaway?" I asked him, my voice soft.

His brow furrowed and a crinkle formed between his ice blue eyes. "What's she got to-"

"Just answer the question," I interrupted. I tried to tell him to trust me with my eyes, it must've worked because he answered.

"She was slated to be the Guardian of Queen Vasilisa, and she showed great promise. Until she went crazy and tried to kill the Dragamir before she became Queen."

My heart clenched. I knew that was the story that was floating around about me, but it hurt to hear it out loud from someone I loved.

"She was killed, presumably in a Strigoi attack, just over a year after she left Court. Her body was never found," he surmised, his words brisk and concise, though his eyes showed his confusion. "Marie… what's this got to do with us settling down?"

I could feel tears in my eyes, threatening to fall. I tried to push them back, but one managed to escape. "What was her full name, Danny?" I was barely audible, but his ears were a lot better than mine so I knew he could understand.

His eyebrows drew together. "Rose Hathaway," he stated.

I shook my head, more tears falling.

He thought for a moment, then said slowly, "Rose… marie… Rosemarie Hathaway."

I bit my lip.

"Marie, please talk to me," he begged. His hand reached across the table to take cradle my trembling ones.

"It's true. Rose Hathaway died from a Strigoi she had just staked. Her stake found her attackers heart, right after he ripped her throat out." I took a deep breath, and said the next part in one breath, my words falling out in a rush. "The thing with Rose is, that she just can't seem to stay dead. When she had recovered, she changed her name to Marie. Marie Thornwood."

I couldn't stand to look at him, to see how he reacted to my words, so I stared at our joined hands. "But, you're Marie Thornwood," he said slowly, no doubt trying to put his thoughts together, for them to make some sort of sense. I doubted that he was having any luck with that.

"Yes. I am Marie Thornwood. But six years ago I didn't exist. Six years ago, I was Rosemarie Hathaway."

"Marie… Rose… What - Please, I don't understand…" He pulled his hand back from me, and I felt my heart shatter as more tears fell.

I heard his chair legs scrape across the floor, and his light footsteps on the tiles. God, he was leaving me. It was what I deserved, but fuck, it hurt like hell. I never deserved him, was stupid for trying anything with him, while my heart would always ache for someone else.

I heard more chair legs scraping, and the world spun. I was too shocked to realize that I was being turned. Danny's face appeared, and I saw him through my tears. He took my shaking hands between his strong warm ones and held them to his beating chest. "Marie… Marie, look at me," he demanded.

I blinked back tears and forced myself to look at his stunningly handsome face. He had a round face, with a boyish quality, but his sharp striking cheek bones made it obvious that he was a man through and through.

"I promise you that I'll never leave you. No matter what. But I need you to explain everything to me." I could see it. Right there in his eyes. Love. He loved me. I knew this of course, but to see it right there in front of me, was what I needed to pull myself back together. I forced myself to stop shaking and even give him a small smile.

"I-" God, my voice was so raspy. "I can't tell you everything today. I just can't," I said, hoping that he'd understand.

He nodded. "Just tell me what you can."

It was my turn to nod. I took in a deep breath before launching into the less painful part of my story. "It was a normal night for me. I'd taken out two Strigoi earlier, but I wasn't tired. I could've gone on all night. But I left a club with a Strigoi, he had contacts on or something, something that hid the red in his eyes. It made me hesitate." I was still beating myself up over that. One of the first lessons I was taught, was to never hesitate. "He attacked me. I managed to bring my stake up, but it didn't find his heart until after he got my throat. I killed him, but it was too late for me. I don't remember very clearly what happened after that, but I remember thinking that I didn't want to die in an alley, in a country where no one would know who I was. I managed to call the Head Guardian, Fenton, at my last Academy."

At his confused look, I explained further. "He liked to keep tabs on me. He was one of the few people to know the truth of my past. Anyway, he found me just after I lost consciousness. And he nursed me back to health. It took two weeks for me to regain consciousness, and a month after that to know who the hell I was, and another month after that to be able to function on my own. By then, news of my 'death' had already spread."

I was uncomfortable crouching in the chair, so I slid to the ground, and huddled between Danny's legs, his arms tight around me.

"When Fenton told me that the world thought I was dead, is the moment that I realized the bond was gone. I really should've noticed sooner, but I'd become so used to blocking it that I just didn't click. With the bond gone, and everyone believing I was dead, I was free to do what I wanted. Fenton helped me create this identity, and start my new life. For a while, I really did try to remove myself from this world, but I just couldn't do it. It was too much a part of me. I started hunting on my own, and form connections under my new identity. And then I met you," I finished, a small smile on my lips.

"And then you met me," he repeated. "One question."

I snorted, "Only one?"

He smiled, but ignored me. "How did Fenton find you that night? Quick enough that he was there before you bleed out?"

It was my turn to furrow my brow. I had asked myself that a lot too, but no matter how many times I'd demanded Fenton to answer me, he wouldn't, just said that everybody needs to have their secrets. I didn't push it too far, seeing as I seriously owed him one. "I don't know. And I've learnt to stop asking."

Danny didn't want to accept that answer, but it was the best one I could give him. "So why does you being Rose Hathaway mean that we can't settle down?"

I sighed, and leant back against his defined chest. "It's too dangerous. Too many people are after Marie Thornwood, and if anyone were to find out my real identity…? We'd be fucked. Besides, do you really think you could give up being a hero?"

I felt his lips curve into a smile against the top of my head. "Not really. I love it too much."

"Me too."

"I love you, Marie. You'll always be her to me," he whispered.

"I love you, too."

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><p><strong>AN; Thank you so much to everyone that's reading this, and fat kisses to everyone that reviewed. Reading them really does make my day :) So, don't be strangers, and gimme love. Did this chapter answer questions, or just raise more? <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Things were… different. Outwardly, Danny was the same as always, treating me like a queen, but there was a certain tension to him. I couldn't put my finger on it, but a snaking feeling in the pit of my stomach made me believe it was about me. That some part of him resented me for having lied to him for so long, despite his claims that it only made him love me more.

I needed to kill something.

It had been awhile since we'd gone hunting, and I was feeling jittery. My muscles were wound up tight, and I was jumping at everything.

I was standing at the small kitchen counter, absentmindedly stirring my hot chocolate, with my thoughts focused on how to get Danny to admit that something was wrong.

A noise startled me from my thoughts, and I spun around, a silver knife in hand. The rational part of me knew that it was probably just Danny, but my heart was racing, pumping adrenaline into me faster than I could compose myself.

Danny was standing there, in all his glory, chest bare, tattoos blazing, and a confused expression on his face.

I willed my heart to return to normal, and forced my hand to put the knife back in its thigh sheath.

"Not that you holding a knife isn't a complete turn-on, but do you think maybe that wasn't totally over the top?" He asked dryly, a grin on his face, masking his worry.

I tried laughing at his convoluted question, but it sounded more like sobbing. "Sorry," I murmured, my voice shaking.

"Hey," he said, gently, his beautiful face transforming into one of worry. He closed the distance between us and wrapped me in his arms. "What's up?" His words were muffled, since his head was pressed into my hair, placing reassuring kisses there.

I shrugged as best I could with his strong arms still holding my quaking body. "I love you," I whispered. The need for him to know that was burning within me, as bright as his tattoos were burning at the moment. They'd never done that before. I wonder if that had something to do with what was worrying me…. There was so much that Danny and I just didn't understand about him—

I was shaken out of my musings as I felt him relax against me a little. "I love you, too."

"Tell me you're not leaving me." My voice came out in a hoarse whisper, barely intelligible to my own ears.

"Where did that come from?" He pulled away from me just enough to stare into my eyes. His ice blue eyes had changed to a deep midnight blue, a reaction that only happened when he was extremely emotional.

"I - I just feel like…" I took a deep breath, stalling for time so that I could gather my thoughts. "I feel like you're pulling away from me," I spoke in a rush.

He stared at me for so long, unblinking and unmoving. My chest tightened as my worst fears came to life. God, this was it. He was fed up with me, he was leaving. I knew my insecurities were raising its head, but I couldn't help it. All of my self-confidence was swept away with Dim—_him. _God, how sad was that, I still couldn't even think his name.

"Come on," Danny said, unwrapping his arms and moving through to the bedroom.

I stayed completely still, shocked, not daring to let out a breath in case it pushed him over the edge.

After a few minutes, he came back out, our meagre possessions all packed into a duffel bag.

"What are you doing?"

He smiled at me, his entire face lighting up. "We're going hunting."

We walked into town like some low budget Hollywood action movie; maxed out with weapons; our leather coats flapping behind us in the almost non-existent wind; the bright full moon behind us. All we needed was some cheesy theme music playing in the background.

There were different ways we'd approached hunting. Sometimes we would put out rumours that we were in another town, other times we'd split up and cover two cities at once. Every so often, we'd go all out and employ a couple of friends of ours. They'd go into a city close to our target one, and terrorize it, whilst impersonating us. This drove the smart Strigoi out of town, and more often than not, right where we wanted them.

Tonight, we went for the direct approach.

We strolled through the city, our arms linked, pretending to be American tourists visiting Chelyabinsk, drinking in the nightlife. Strigoi loved foreign meat.

We stumbled upon some throughout the night, a couple already having a snack, some out looking for their own. They were no match for us, just a few green killers, all cocky and no show. I didn't even need to pull out my baby.

My spear.

I had a short silver spear secure in a sheath strapped to my back. The tip of the long silver shaft was infused with the four Moroi magic. It was my secret weapon. Most Strigoi laughed when I pulled it out, not expecting it to harm them in any permanent way—none of them lived to tell a soul just how wrong they were.

It was getting late, and Danny and I were getting antsy over our lack of challenge when we found them: A large group of Strigoi loitering in an alley next to a club. It was beyond weird. Usually when that many Strigoi worked together, it was for a planned attack on an Academy or a large family. Not just for a Saturday night snack.

We didn't hesitate over that, but dived straight into the battle. Well, Danny did. I hung back, pulled my spear out and hit a button on the grip. The spear extended to almost its full length. I rushed forward, the gleaming metal pointing my way. My spear allowed me to kill without getting too close, keeping my neck away from their dangerous strength and sharp teeth. I took out two without them any the wiser, two sharp jabs in their backs and they were down. With so many Strigoi in such a cramped space, it would be suicide to try and attack from a distance, so with a regretful sigh; I shoved my spear into its holster.

Pulling out my stake, I got one in the back while he was about to attack Danny. There were only thirteen or so Strigoi, but in the tight space of the alley, it felt like a lot more. It was hard to manoeuvre, or attack. It really only consisted of blocking attacks, while trying to get the Strigoi close enough to sneak in and stake them.

I was starting to get anxious, we were making a lot of noise, the Strigoi not content to go down quietly, and the last thing we needed was for some foolish human to stumble upon us.

When there were more bodies on the ground than standing, a Strigoi with light brown hair punched me in my side, grinning for all he was worth. Pain blasted through me and I knew something was broken, but I hit back regardless. My fist burned with agony when it smashed into his smug little face. He never stopped grinning, even as he turned on his heel and dashed away.

Indecision made me hesitate. Never once had there been a survivor left alive to tell tales of us, but I couldn't abandon Danny to chase after this asshole.

"Danny!" I shouted, as I punched my stake into the chest of an advancing Strigoi.

"Go!" He screamed, not taking his attention off the Strigoi now circling him.

I spared him one last, futile glance as I sprinted after the fleeing coward. I had to believe he could look after himself. He was tough, he was smart, and he wouldn't have told me to go if he didn't truly believe he could handle it.

I repeated that through my head as I chased after the dark figure ahead of me. He was, perhaps, a hundred yards away, but he wanted me to catch him, otherwise he would already be long gone.

I didn't stop to ponder why he ran, or why he let me catch up to him, otherwise I might not have, and regret was not something that I could ever allow myself to feel. Four blocks away from where I left Danny, the Strigoi stopped and turned. He grinned at me even wider, his sharp teeth flashing in the dark night. I didn't pause, or hesitate. I ran at him full speed, my stake out and pointed.

He spun to the side just as I was a hair's breath away from him, laughing as he went. I scowled, but kept moving, digging my foot into the ground and using my momentum to change my direction before he could get too far. I pulled my spear out as I spun, hitting the button as I shot my arm out. The elongating spear covered the distance that my arm couldn't and pushed through his shirt, flesh and muscle to his heart.

I stabbed him a couple more times just to make sure he was dead and then rushed back to the alley that I'd left Danny.

I was about a block away when I heard a scream that I knew all too well. I pushed my legs harder, a strangled battle cry falling from my lips. I flew into the alley, ready to help my love.

I stopped in my tracks.

There were bodies and blood _everywhere._

I panicked, knowing in my heart that it wasn't just Strigoi blood staining the walls. I kicked the bodies around, looking for Danny, my raw voice calling for him without thought.

A pained groan brought my attention to a dark corner right at the back of the alley. There was a slumped shadow nestled between the dumpster and the wall. I rushed to him.

"Danny!" I cried. I caught his hanging head in my grasp, pulling his head up to look at me. Blood covered his chest and his face. His ice blue eyes were burning, his pupils' non-existent, they were just two orbs of blue fire.

I shook him. "Danny! Danny, where are you hurt? Please! Please—" My voice broke, my body overtaken by a sob.

He didn't answer me, just stared ahead of him with those flaming eyes. My hands roamed uselessly over his body, looking for an explanation for how he was. His body started to heat up, his cold torso actually becoming hot to the touch. Really hot. Scalding even. Too hot—

I snatched my hand back, yelping. He'd burned me. His tattoos were blazing more than ever, and in a design that we'd never seen before.

"Danny," I whimpered, not even caring how weak I sounded.

"Rose," he croaked. "Help… me…"

His quiet plea was enough to snap me out of what I thought would soon become hysterics. I was Rose Hathaway, but more than that, I was Marie Thornwood. I could do this. After everything that Danny's done for me, I had to help him. Only problem was, I didn't have a clue what was wrong with him.

But I might know someone that does.

With renewed determination, I got up from my crouch, and started searching the bodies, looking for a large built male wearing a jacket. I found a black leather jacket that came to my knees holding it against me. I was hoping for something a bit longer, but it would have to do.

I painstakingly put the jacket on Danny, wrapping it around him tightly to hide the blood stains and his shining tattoos. But every time my skin came into contact with his, it burned. My hands were bright red and throbbing with pain by the time I was done.

Hitching his arm over my shoulder, I used my Dhampir strength to get him on his feet. He leaned heavily against my side. Danny seemed conscious but incoherently so. I could feel the whisper of his breath along my neck as he muttered words too quietly for me to hear.

I needed to get us to a train station, but first I had to get us cleaned up. We'd be arrested or shot on site if we were seen like we were now. Resting more of Danny's weight on me, I shuffled us to the mouth of the alley, singing _eenie meenie miney moe_ as my very complex way to decide which way to turn.

Left it was. I seriously contemplated hoisting Danny over my shoulder in a fireman's hold, but decided against it as I thought that I'd probably collapse under his weight.

There was a foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach as I took my first step out of the alley. I knew only one person that might be able to help Danny. And I even knew where to find her. I just didn't know what else I'd find when I got there.

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><p><strong>AN; Thanks to everyone that's sticking with me, and for those that review. It really means a lot to know what you're thinking of the story. I'm going to start replying to reviews. It's not something that I usually do, but I want you all to know how much each review means to me :)<strong>

**I'm really sorry for the infrequent and almost non-existent updates. While there's a story floating around in my head, I always have trouble writing it down. Hopefully updates will be more frequent from now on. Fingers crossed :P **


	4. Chapter 4

**Lissa POV**

This was only my second time in Russia. When I was little I came here with my family over one of the Christmas breaks. I barely remember it.

Russia was absolutely breath taking. The way the buildings were designed with so much more care and thought put into them than American monstrosities, the onion shaped domes, the stunning stained glass windows—all of it.

We'd been visiting the larger cities. My advisors thought it 'prudent' for me to meet some of the Royal families still living in the old country. They'd been at me for years, but I'd only just recently listened.

And it wasn't because I only just decided to be _prudent_.

There were rumours. Rumours of two great Strigoi hunters that circulated Russia and Siberia. If they were half as good as the stories made them out to be, then I needed to meet them. Something about the description of the girl ate at me. She sounded so much like… Rose. So fierce, so brave, so skilled. I thought that maybe if I met her, and found her to be likable, that I might offer her a place in my Guard. I knew that I couldn't replace Rose, even after all these years I ached for her, but haven't been able to find a new best friend. This girl seemed just as reckless as Rose was, and I needed more of that in my life.

Christian was the only thing keeping me going. He gave me the love and strength I needed to rule our society justly. He's the only one that knows the truth of what happened between me and Rose, and how guilty I still feel. Dimitri had his suspicions, but was too well trained to say anything. Even after all these years he still addressed me formally. _Queen Dragomir._

Christian and Dimitri were both here with me. Dimitri as the Head of my Guard, and Christian as my husband. He was the only company I had for this long trip, since my guard wouldn't talk to me, except very formally and only if I order them to. Dimitri wouldn't even look at me.

I had spent the last few weeks touring the big cities and meeting some of the Royal families. It was exhausting work, which was why I demanded that I needed a night off. I forced a detour to one of the smaller cities that hosted a Moroi night club, despite Dimitri's warning of safety.

I didn't care. I needed this.

We were sitting in a booth at the back of the club, Christian and I cuddled up, with members of my guard sitting with us, hardly even trying to blend in and look normal. There weren't many humans here, and the ones that were here were too drunk to notice anything but their own horniness.

More guards were outside.

I relaxed into Christian's strong arms, sipping my Martini. "Hmmm, this was a good idea," I murmured.

"You've needed this," he agreed, his voice slightly muffled from my hair. He tightened his hold around me.

That's when it happened.

Dimitri shot up from his seat and stood directly in front of me.

"What's going on?" I asked, instantly on edge.

Dimitri didn't answer me, but instead held his hand up to his ear, apparently listening to something through his earpiece. He spun around, his eyes barely sparing me a glance. "Queen Dragomir, we need to leave immediately," he instructed, his eyes turning back to scan the crowd.

Confused, I stood up warily, pulling Christian along with me. "Why?" He demanded. "What's up?"

"Strigoi," he got out before lunging forward, his stake glinting from the clubs sporadic lighting. Everything happened so fast that my eyes couldn't keep up. Dimitri was just a blur of limbs for a few seconds until a body fell to the floor.

Six of my guard closed around me, shielding me from everything. I couldn't see past their huge bodies, despite my superior height. They started shuffling forward, Dimitri leading the procession. Every now and then he'd leap forward and attack something, but I could never get a clear view.

Someone screamed.

Then all hell broke loose. Everyone was trying to get out of the club, pushing and shoving at my guard to get to the exits. We managed to hold our ground, but it was slow going. Strigoi kept advancing on us, and Dimitri had to take them out before we could continue forward.

I clutched Christian's hand desperately, trying not to panic. This was the first attack I'd had since becoming Queen. I'd come to believe that now that I was Queen the Strigoi had written me off because of the extra protection. Apparently they were just biding their time until they had the perfect opportunity. One I'd given them.

We made it to the door, but Dimitri told us to wait. He held his hand up to his ear, and listened intently. "The car's directly outside. Strigoi are lurking around apparently, but we believe that they'll dive straight for us as soon as we step outside. There's already a lot of dead Strigoi in an alley down the road, which is what alerted us in the first place, but we believe there is more. We need to be quick in getting to the car. On my count," he instructed.

"Wait!" Christian exclaimed. "I can help. I'll surround us in fire until we get to the car. It should make them more hesitant."

Dimitri deliberated for a second before nodding tersely. "One… two… three!"

He kicked open the door and we rushed through, as soon as we stepped out into the street, fire erupted around us. We hurried to the car on the curb in a tight circle.

We surged into the car, and the fire disappeared. Cole was the last to enter but was yanked away before he could fully climb in. I bit down on my tongue to keep from screaming. Dimitri shot over me and slammed the door shut just as more grabbing hands appeared.

We sped off. I looked behind me out the window and saw fighting on the street. There were so many Strigoi, and the guardians we'd left behind were suffering. Just before we turned the corner I saw Cole go down.

A sob wracked through my body. He'd been with me since I graduated, and although he never spoke to me aside from the usual pleasantries, anguish overcame me.

Dhampirs sworn to protect me were dying because of me. All of that carnage was my fault. If only I hadn't of demanded a night off. We never would've been there.

I hadn't realised that I'd said all of my guilty ramblings out loud until Christian pulled me into his arms, shushing me. "Shh, it's alright. It's not your fault. We couldn't have known. No one could've."

I wanted to believe him but I just couldn't.

So much death and it was all my fault. We'd left behind ten of the best guardians to fight off God only knows how many Strigoi.

"Is there any chance for them?" I asked Dimitri.

He studied me for a minute, his dark brown gaze not giving anything away. At last he said, "They were all well trained, smart guardians. They'll do their best."

That wasn't at all reassuring, but I nodded anyway. The mood in the car was sombre as we sped away into the night. An hour into the car ride, I asked, "So where are we going anyway?"

Christian was asleep next to me, snoring lightly.

I looked around the car.

It was Dimitri that answered me. "Somewhere that you'll be safe."

I snorted in a very un-queenly way. "Is anywhere safe?"

He gave me a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "There are a lot of trained Dhampirs where we're going, and trust me; no one would think to look there for the Queen."

I wracked my brain trying to think of place that fit the bill. There was only one place that came to mind, a place that Rose had told me about so many years ago.

I raised my brows at Dimitri. Surely not there.

He nodded, not needing me to say it out loud.

We were going to a blood whore community.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well this chapter surprised the shit out of me. I was writing the next chapter following Rose when this happened. I didn't get a say in writing this, my fingers took control. :P<strong>

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and I think it'll make the story flow a bit better. It's just a short one, but the next chapter shouldn't be too far away. Thoughts?**


	5. Chapter 5

I half dragged-half carried Danny into the nearest public toilets. Everyone we passed along the way gave us wary looks and scurried away, I had no doubt that if we stayed on the street the cops would be all over us.

The dimly lit room made us feel right at home, with its graffiti covered walls, and suspicious looking stains.

I cleaned the blood off of me and Danny and straightened out our clothes. Some of the blood stains didn't come off our clothes but they were inconspicuous enough that I didn't think anyone would notice as long as they didn't get too close.

I knelt over Danny's slumped form. His eyes were staring straight through me, causing my heart to clench painfully. I blinked the tears away and addressed him as sternly as I could. "Danny. You listen to me Mister. I need you to snap out of this now." I ignored how shaky my voice was and continued. "I can't do this without you. You're killing me." My voice was a breathy whisper, and tears were escaping my careful control. "I _need_ you."

I allowed myself to break down for a few minutes. Tears were coming down in waves and my broken sobs echoed through-out the small, empty room. "Rosemarie Hathaway, toughen the fuck up," I said to myself, laughing at how crazy I sounded.

I stood up, and brushed off invisible dirt. "Danny, get up," I ordered, feeling completely stupid, but I was grasping at straws, I mean, how was I supposed to explain me carrying a man almost twice the size—

He stood up.

Hope flared within me, but when I looked into his eyes I saw that he still very much resembled an animated corpse.

I choked back a sigh. "Danny, I need you to follow me," I ordered in my hardest voice. I grasped his hand, ignoring the stinging burn of his overheated flesh, and led him out of the toilet like he was a child. He followed me, staring sightlessly ahead, mechanically placing one foot in front of the other.

Looking less like we just murdered someone, we stepped onto the curb. At a loss for what else to do, I called the local Alchemist. "Tom, I left a mess—"

"I fucking know! The cops are all over it!" He screeched. Tom was like Sydney, an American completing his internship of sorts in Russia. But, unlike Sydney, he had no problem vocalizing his distaste for me. "Seriously! You have to do one thing. _One thing! _Call me, but can you do that? _Noooo._ Do you know what—"

I cut him off, otherwise he'd be screaming at me all night. "Look, I'm sorry, things got out of hand. I need a cab," I said.

"Oh, so you have no problem calling me when _you_ need something, but—"

"If you don't call a cab for me, I'll make an even bigger mess and leave the bodies scattered down the main road," I threatened. It was an empty threat—no way would I endanger the secrecy of my race like that—but he didn't know that.

I heard him sigh heavily over the phone. "Where are you?"

I told him the street I was standing on, and started to say thank you, but he hung up on me. Asshole.

Five minutes later a cab pulled up against the curb. I led Danny into the backseat and secured the seatbelt around his unresponsive body.

"Where to?" The driver asked in heavily accented English.

I responded in Russian, saying that we needed to get to the train station.

All through the car ride, I held onto Danny's hand as if my life depended on it. I ignored his skin's feverish burn as it scalded mine. He was still whispering, but it was too low for me to make out.

When the cab skidded to a halt outside the train station, I paid the driver, and pulled Danny out along with me. He followed mechanically, still whispering to himself.

I bought tickets for the next train to our destination, and waited impatiently for it to come. We were getting stares from the few people littered around the station at the late hour, but they seemed just as crazy as we looked, and they were easy to ignore.

A few minutes later the train pulled up and we shuffled on. I settled us in a cabin that was deserted save for the old woman at the front half asleep and cradling a bottle of Whiskey. She wouldn't trouble us—she probably wouldn't even notice us.

The train ride passed in a blur. It took hours to reach our destination, but time seemed to feel warped. It felt like minutes. It felt like days. I spent the time trying to decipher what Danny was muttering. It clearly wasn't English, and I recognized a few words that almost sounded Russian, but when I strung them together trying to form a sentence, it made no sense whatsoever.

_Kay Kaus… Rustam… Carent…_

Meaningless words to me.

The train pulled to a stop. I waited until the few occupants had gotten off the train until I tugged Danny along behind me. I stumbled through the small town, weary from exhaustion and a lack of sleep. Danny followed along, more zombie-like than ever. We bummed a ride just as we reached the outskirts of the town. The road along here was dangerous, and I was in no condition to fight off any attacks. Hell, a human could have probably taken me out then, let alone any Strigoi. If some nice old couple hadn't have stopped for us, I probably would've broken into a car. I'd risk driving us into a ditch rather than taking on the possibility of Strigoi.

The couple seemed to understand that we were tired and didn't try to talk to me aside from asking where we were going and why we needed a ride.

I'd offered to pay them but they wouldn't hear any of it.

When they pulled up in front of the only home I've ever really known, I thanked them profusely and left a few hundred dollars on their backseat. I hoped that they wouldn't notice it until they were far enough away to not want to turn around and give it back.

I tugged Danny along with me as we walked up the narrow path to the front door. I took a deep breath, trying to steel my nerves to knock on the old wooden door. Turns out I shouldn't have bothered. Just as I was raising my arm to knock, the door opened and revealed a young, smiling little boy.

"Grandmother says that you're late," Paul announced. His grin was infectious, and I crouched down to hug Paul. Not that I really needed to, he'd grown a lot since I'd last seen him.

I stepped back and ruffled his hair playfully as I replied. "She's still making you play translator, huh?"

He nodded, amusement flashing across features that looked so much like a younger version of Dimi—Guardian Belikov. After I'd learnt enough Russian to understand Yeva, she'd switched to speaking in Bulgarian. Even though I knew she could understand every word I spoke, either in Russian or English, she never responded without someone translating for me. I had no doubt that she did it just to frustrate me.

He invited us to come in, casting a curious glance at Danny before doing so. I followed him through the house, noting that even after all these years, not much had changed. A few more pictures had been added to the walls. My breath caught as I saw one of myself and _him._ I quickly looked away and continued on into the kitchen.

Olena was busy baking some black bread, but froze when she saw me. She rushed over to us, flour still coating her hands, and pulled me into a fierce hug. "Oh, Ro—ah, Marie, it's been so long." She grimaced over her slip up with my name and glanced at the oblivious Danny, knowing that Rose was meant to be dead, but I just smiled.

"It's okay," I said, "He knows who I am."

She just smiled.

Yeva was sitting at the kitchen table, her hawk like stare trained on Danny, her pointed features pulled into a frown. She still looked as scary as ever, with her white patchy hair and stern wrinkled features.

She spoke quietly in Bulgarian, and I waited somewhat impatiently for Paul to translate. "Grandmother says that it is unlike you to travel with a sword."

He looked just as confused as me. "Sword? I don't have a sword…"

Yeva stood up, and when she started speaking in English, I knew that shit had just gotten real. "No, you don't have a sword. But you did travel with one. You're standing next to him."

_Huh…?_

* * *

><p><em><em>**AN; okay, so while I've done a little research, I really am just making this shit up as I go along. I have a general idea of where this story is going, and I've done enough research that what Danny is hasn't been completely made up, but I am stretching it. Anyway, lemme know if you have any questions or if you wanna just gimme love :) **

**This chapter was a bit of a filler, but next chapter is hopefully Dimitri's POV and that's when we start to learn more. Cheers :P**


	6. Chapter 6

**DPOV**

Ever wondered what it's like to lose everything you've ever held dear? Your job, your reputation, your soul… the love of your now miserable life. Even after getting almost all of them back, the thing that means the most to me is gone.

_Roza… Roza… Roza…_

My love, my life. My everything.

The atrocious thing is that I'd lost her even before she'd died. Drove her away from me. At first she didn't listen, but I pushed her away again and again until she finally gave up. It was nothing more than what I deserved. The things I'd done, not only to innocent humans, but to my Roza. The way I'd treated her as a Strigoi was unforgivable.

She'd been gone from me for six years now. Six years of monotony and misery passed me by and I barely felt any of it. During the first year that she'd left I'd spent the time fighting to be allowed to go after her, to be granted some time off. My request was denied, and I just couldn't abandon my duty. By the time that Queen Dragomir rose to power and allowed me to go after Rose, it was too late.

Too late.

All these thoughts swirled around my head as I made the drive to my hometown with the Queen. Thinking of my family, I couldn't help but be assaulted by my thoughts that Rose would never truly be a part of my family.

I knew that she had stayed with my family for quite some time, before and after I was a Strigoi, but by the time I could go and visit them myself after my change back to a Dhampir, they denied any knowledge of Rose having stayed there after she left the princess and me.

The Queen.

Queen Vasilisa Dragomir. I was sworn to protect her and I would with my life, but I held no affection for her. A large part of me blamed her for Rose's sudden departure. At first, I thought it was all on me, but after hearing the rumours about Rose trying to kill Lissa, I knew in my heart that that was utter bullshit. After doing some digging I had managed to learn that Rose had in fact saved Lissa's life but that Lissa pitched a huge fit over it, blaming Rose for everything bad that had ever happened in her life. The exact details eluded me, but I would never give up trying to find out exactly what happened that night.

We sped down the road, the scenery passing in a blur. I couldn't let myself enjoy the fact that I was going home, I was too on edge about the Queen's attack. I felt a foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach, as though we were heading straight towards danger, or that I was leading danger straight to my family's doorstep.

The part of me that blamed the Queen for the gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be, also blamed her for the danger she might bring to my family.

The old me, the rational me would remind myself that it was my choice to go there and that no one had forced me into this decision, but the present me was a twisted and bitter version of myself. How can one see the good in other people, when all of the light in one's own life has been taken from them?

No, no. My fault. All my fault. Not taken, pushed away, discarded, and thrown out like trash. That's what I did to my Roza, that's what I deserve for myself.

The miles flew by taking the hours with it. The sun was peeking over the horizon as we entered the small village just off Omsk that I used to call home. Nothing much had changed and for that I was thankful. This little piece of the world would always remain the same, I didn't have to worry about it changing into something I didn't recognise or of it leaving me.

I shook my head to clear it of the melancholy thoughts. Now was not the time to dwell.

I parked the car outside the familiar house, and I opened the door for the Queen. She seemed a bit shocked at the surroundings, but I figured that if it was this or death, that she'd happily chose this.

We made our way to the door, me in front with Bradley, the other guardian that had survived the massacre behind the Queen. The door opened just before we could reach it, and there stood my entire family, perfectly framed by the edges of the door. They were all there, with the exception of Viktoria, which I took to be a good thing as it meant that she was guarding someone somewhere and not pregnant already.

They didn't seem all the surprised to see me, merely very pleased. _Babushka_ must have seen that I was going to come.

"Dimka!" My sister Karolina cried, my mother echoing her. Before I knew it, I was enveloped in a family hug. I allowed myself to relax into for a few moments before I stepped back.

"The Queen is in need of a place to hide until it is safe for her to leave the country." I heard a small gasp from behind me, but ignored it. I knew that the Queen would not be happy to leave without finishing the reason that she had come here. She thought that I didn't know that she sought the two elusive Strigoi hunters, most importantly the one that reminds everyone of Rose. While under normal circumstances I would've been eager to meet them, but it just wasn't safe for the Queen to be around two highly unpredictable vigilantes.

"Can you please inform the Dhampir community of the Queen's arrival, but also let it be known that the knowledge is to be kept within the towns limits?" I asked my dear Ma.

"Already done," she responded with a smile. "Come in, come in," she urged, gesturing us to enter my childhood home.

As we passed them, I noticed a few stares aimed at Lissa. They weren't hostile or unfriendly, more like they were thinking unpleasant things. I must remember to ask about that when I get a chance alone with them.

Lissa and Bradley followed me to the kitchen with identical bemused expressions on their faces, with my family trailing behind. I offered Lissa and Bradley a seat at the kitchen table since it was only polite. As I was clearly a space on the somewhat cluttered table, an Old Russian text caught my eye.

Paul, looking much older than the last time I saw him, came quickly and snatched the dusty book up.

But I'd seen enough.

"Who's looking into the Sword Kladenets?"

They all seemed to share glances with each other before Ma answered. "Oh, it's just a little project Paul's working on. Can I get you anything, Your Majesty?"

The girl in question laughed. "Oh, please, call me Lissa. A cup of tea would be lovely."

Sonya, who was pregnant yet again, shuffled around the kitchen to get started on that, but I was still focused on the strange reactions they all had.

Before I could get too wound up over their weirdness, I heard someone's hurried footsteps racing up to the house. I was instantly alert, but not too worried. There was only one set of footprints and the tread sounded light.

They didn't pause to knock, but entered the house, slamming the door shut behind them. "Don't panic," an airily familiar female voice called out. "It's only me!"

Everyone froze.

* * *

><p><strong>AN; Now, it's not who you think! Well, it might be, but probably not. Not yet anyway. Thoughts on the Dimitri POV? It was a total bitch to write. Sorry for any mistakes, I don't have a beta, and I normally read through each chapter two or three times to pick them up, but it's two in the morning and I'm tired. <strong>

**Go easy on me. Next chapter will reveal some things finally and will be Rose's POV :)**


	7. Chapter 7

After Yeva's rather mystifying statement Olena decided that I was too skinny and began cooking up a feast, and Paul ran off. Yeva sealed her lips and spent the entire duration of the cooking ignoring my questions to stare intently at Danny.

My sweet and kind lover, Danny. The beautiful man that hadn't moved a muscle since I'd directed him into a chair.

My frustration was evident but it reached an all-time high when memories of the countless times Danny had been there for me, when he's supported me, loved me. Even recently, when he decided to stay with me after finding out I wasn't who I'd said I was. Memory after memory flashed before my eyes of him tenderly nursing me back to health after injuring myself during an attack. The gentle caresses, the cups of hot chocolate, the soft brush of his lips against my forehead.

"Goddammit! Just tell me what the hell you meant!" I shouted in a moment of pure helplessness. This one time that Danny needed me and I couldn't do a fucking thing. I was officially useless.

Yeva flicked her unwavering gaze to me and I sank back to my seat, having stood up during my small outburst.

Sonya and Karolina had gone somewhere else in the house to put their kids to bed and I was thankful for the smaller audience.

Olena placed a full plate in front of me and I began eating, each mouthful tasting of nothing due to my own apathy. I could've been eating pigs feet for all I knew or cared.

Paul came back to the room, carrying a heavy, old book under his arm. Without a word he opened it up and positioned it in front of me, propping it against an empty glass. I read as I continued eating.

_Sword Kladenets_

_Kladenets is a fabulous magic sword in some Old Russian fairy tales. In the "Tale about the City of Babylon" the sword is called "Asp The Serpent." In the "Tale about bogatyr Yeruslan Lazarevich" it is mentioned among the fire shield and fire spear. Although the word "kladenets" appears to be derived from the Slavic word for treasure, Max Vasmer theorized that it may have originated as a corrupted pronunciation of Clarent. It also sounds similar to the verb "klast'" ('to put down' in Russian) so it may well correspond to 'slayer' in English. Kladenets means "well" (for water) in the related Slavic language Bulgarian, potentially evocative of torrents of blood._

I read the small paragraph twice, my eyes slowly devouring each word trying to understand what this has to do with Danny. After my third try I gave up. "Okay, I'll bite, how's this relevant to Danny?" I asked, popping some unidentifiable morsel of food into my mouth. "Do I need the sword to fix him?"

Yeva answered in Bulgarian, so I shovelled more food into my mouth while I waited for Paul to translate.

"Where you not listening, girl? You do not need the sword for him, he is the sword." It was kind of demeaning having a young boy calling me 'girl' in that way, but I let it slide, choosing instead to focus on the rest of what he'd said.

I cast a leisurely glance over Danny, and then looked back at Yeva. "Doesn't look like a sword to me. And that book said nothing about this sword, or whatever, not actually being a sword."

"In Russia, we do not pass down our most sacred and prized legends in books," Yeva said with such disdain that she'd forgotten to speak in a language I couldn't understand.

"I don't _care _whether you tell stories round a dead fairy while dancing naked to the Bee Gees!" I snapped, my patience wearing thin. "How the fuck do I fix him?"

I would've been mortified over not only having sworn in front of a little boy let alone the woman I very much thought of as a mother, had it not been for Yeva's glazed over expression.

By the time she snapped out of whatever that was, I'd calmed down. "If you want to fix him, whilst avoiding something you're not yet ready to face, I suggest you go to Oksana. She'll know more than me how to bring him back from that state," the old woman said, her normally steely and frightening voice was now something airy and light, and enough to terrify me all the more. "I trust you know the way?"

Oh, did I ever. That first time of lugging unimportant miscellaneous crap to the middle of nowhere most certainly wasn't my last.

But now that I'd be making the journey with the most precious person in the world to me, I could probably do it with fewer complaints.

* * *

><p>Oksana and Mark weren't surprised when I showed up at their door with Danny so I'd figured that someone from the Belikova house had rung ahead.<p>

They'd ushered us in with a smile and a hug, a scalding hot cup of hot chocolate already at the table for me.

Oksana had taken one look at Danny and had been entranced. They were sitting at the other end of the table now, Danny's lifeless hands gripped firmly in Oksana's. At first Mark had tried to distract me from whatever they were doing, but I just couldn't focus on what he'd said, so he left me alone. He was now sitting next to his wife, one hand resting on her shoulder in silent support.

I sat staring at Danny's face waiting for some part of him to return. My hot chocolate had long gone cold.

I stood up, trying to prevent my limbs from stiffening from sitting in the same position for so long, when it happened.

A brief spark in his eyes was the only warning I had. He came out of whatever stupor he was in for over twelve hours.

And he came out screaming.

I shot out of my seat. I barely registered that I'd knocked over the hot chocolate as I rushed to his side. I enveloped him in my arms, ignoring his deafening screams. "Shh, baby, I've got you," I crooned. "I've got you. It's okay, you're okay."

I don't know how long I knelt there with his shaking body in my arms murmuring over and over that he was safe. Eventually his screams quieted down to sobs, until at last, he went silent. Worried that he'd gone back to wherever he'd been, I grasped his face and stared into his ice blue eyes, desperately needing confirmation that he was still with me.

"Where are we?" His voice was hoarse and gravelly from all the screaming, but something clicked in my heart at hearing it. I'd been so stupid. So incredibly stupid to pine over my first love when I had this beautiful man that was here with me. I'd never been so panicked before as I had these last few hours. I'd never waste another moment I had with Danny. If he wanted to settle down, then I would, no matter the danger.

Oblivious to my sudden epiphany, Danny repeated his question.

"Oh, uh…" I looked around the room, noting that Oksana and Mark were gone. I'd never even noticed they'd left. "We're in Baia," I replied, my voice soft.

"Do you remember anything?"

He got a distant look on his face, as though he was remembering something. "Yes, I remember, but it's all hazy. It's like I was watching but wasn't seeing."

Just then Mark came into the room carrying a blanket to drape around Danny's still shivering shoulders. "Oksana's gone to the Belikova's house. She said to shower and change and meet her there afterwards. There's some clothes laid out on the bed through there."

We both nodded, but if he thought I was letting Danny out of my reach one more time, he could think again.

We'd have a quick shower and then it was off to Yeva. Maybe this time she'd actually tell me something useful.

On second thought, maybe that shower could be a bit longer, I had my Danny back, and I was sure as hell going to let him know he'd been missed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN; Well Danny's back! Yay, I missed him. Next up, Rose faces her past. Kinda. It's long over due to find out what really happened isn't it? <strong>

**Let me know what you thought :)**


	8. Chapter 8

I pulled Danny along with me as we walked down the beaten path to the front door. I wasn't pulling him because I needed to, not anymore, but because I was so excited. I reached the door and pulled it open. "Oh, you're just gonna love…"

I should've knocked. The Belikova house felt like a second home to me, but still—I should've knocked. Nothing could've prepared me for the sight that met my eyes after I opened that door. Nothing.

My words died on my lips. _Don't move. If I don't move then maybe they won't notice me…_

I froze.

_Uh-oh. Too late._

Shock is a psychological condition arising in response to a terrifying or traumatic event.

Shock was first described by Walter Cannon in the 1920s as a theory that animals react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system. The response was later recognized as the first stage of a general adaptation syndrome that regulates stress responses among vertebrates and other organisms. The first stage of the general adaptation syndrome prepares the body for a fight-or-flight response by releasing a shit load of adrenaline.

I was in shock.

Dimitri stood in front of me. Fight-or-flight.

Lissa stood next to him. Fight-or-flight.

Danny was behind me, one hand resting proprietorially on my hip. Fight-or-flight.

_Stay or go._

The door was still open. Maybe I could just slowly back away. Take Danny with me and run and hide. They were looking at me, but I could tell that recognition hadn't yet hit.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Danny murmured softly, his lips brushing my ear.

"Nothing," I said, equally as quiet. I was watching Dimitri's eyes as I responded so I saw the exact moment that it all came crashing down on him.

"_Roza…"_ He took a step toward me, his arms stretching out.

"_Rose…_" Lissa whispered, her eyes wide.

I stepped back, one foot out the door, tugging Danny along with me. He gave me a questioning look but let me pull him back.

"If you run now, you'll never know the answers you seek," Yeva said in Russian. I hadn't even noticed her standing at the end of the hall.

Dammit. She was right. She was the only person I knew who could tell us what had happened with Danny. She was the only person that could help me. Maybe we could run and try and find someone else that might know, but how far would we get when it happened again? How could I get him to come back to me if he did freak out again?

I owed it to Danny to stay.

Fuck.

"Fine. But I want them gone." I hated how much my voice shook.

Olena popped her head into the hallway, her expression far too cheery for the atmosphere. "The Queen is in danger. The safest place for her is here until things settle."

Double fuck.

Squaring my shoulders, I ignored Dimitri and Lissa's stares as I strode past them to the kitchen. Moments after me and Danny had sat down, they shuffled in.

Dimitri stared at me, confusion and relief in his eyes, a small smile was on his lips that made me wonder at what he was thinking.

Lissa was a different story. Her gaze held only anger. When she spoke her voice was airily quiet and simmering with rage. "How could you?" She demanded softly. "How could you let me think you were dead? I mourned you. I needed you. I thought you were dead. How could you do that to me?" Her voice had risen quite considerably. "Six years!" She screamed at me.

She walked over to me slowly and I found myself looking up to her from my seated position. Her hand shot out and slapped me hard across my face. My body didn't register the sharp flare of pain, but my hand flew to Danny's shoulder as he started to rise in his own anger.

"It's okay," I soothed Danny. Dimitri was still standing by the entrance to the kitchen, but I felt his eyes follow the movement, missing nothing.

"No, it's not okay!" Lissa screeched, her voice raising several octaves. "You left me! You abandoned me when I needed you!"

I'd had enough. I stood up so quickly that my chair fell back and Lissa jumped back a couple of steps in surprise. "Don't you dare," I warned her, my voice a low calm in the middle of Lissa's storm. "Don't you dare tell me that I left you." I could take anything else she threw at me, but she had no right whatsoever to lay that on me.

"But you did!" She accused me, her voice like a whiplash in the hush of the kitchen. I barely noticed that Olena and Oksana had left the kitchen, or that Sonya, Karolina, Yeva and Paul were nowhere to be seen. "You left me! You broke the bond to make me think you were dead. You left me to deal with the darkness on my own. You left me."

"_I_ left _you?"_ I repeated incredulously. "I only ever tried to protect you, and you threw me away the minute things got tough."

She came at me again, her claws out. Metaphorically, of course. Dimitri stepped in this time and pulled her away in a firm but painless hold. "I think we all need some time to calm down," Dimitri said. He started to firmly direct Lissa out of the room, but paused briefly to say, "If you run from me, Roza… I will look for you, and I will find you."

Whispered words and then he was gone.

Danny and I were left alone in the kitchen that still smelled faintly of fresh bread. We stood still in silence for what felt like an eternity, until Danny spoke. "What. The fuck. Was that?"

"That… that was Dimitri Belikov, and Queen Vasilisa Dragomir. Ex-mentor slash 'boyfriend' and ex-best friend of Rose Hathaway."

He was silent for a moment or two before responding. "I think it's time for you to tell me the rest of your past." His hands encircled my hips and I leaned back into his embrace, needing all the support I could get.

I nodded. "But I can't do it in here. Can we go outside please? I need some air."

He responded by leading me to the curb, and sat me down on the edge. Thankfully we didn't pass anyone else on our way. Danny sat down behind me, wrapping his arms and legs around me, completely surrounding me with warmth and comfort.

He didn't ask, so I just started talking. My voice took on a mechanical tone as I lost myself in the memory. "We were at the mall, of all places…"

_This wasn't a good idea. This was such a bad idea. If Dimitri was still himself, he would've been so against this. Instead he was at Court being watched for any signs of Strigoi still in him by the other guardians. The idiots. _

_We were in the food court at some mall. Lissa had decided that she needed a break. Never mind the fact that she'd just had her life threatened. It was far too dangerous for her to be outside of the school wards, but would she listen to me? Of course not. She managed to talk her way into getting a group of guardians to accompany me and her. I didn't want to be here, but since she was so hell bent of coming, then I had to tag along. _They come first.

_The attack came out of nowhere. We'd been expecting Strigoi, so that's what we'd been looking for. No one had expected an attack to come from an elderly _human _man. And no one sure as hell had expected Lissa's reaction. _

_She went ballistic. _

_On the outside it just looked like she and the man were having an intense staring competition. But on the inside, I could feel exactly what Lissa was doing. I could feel the intense and irrational rage take hold of her. I could feel the darkness swelling and magnifying her worst feelings. I could feel the man's pure and unadulterated terror._

_I didn't bother trying to talk Lissa out of doing the Super Compulsion she was terrorizing the attacker with, but instead pushed into her head and took the darkness. It felt slimy and thick as it passed through the bond and settled into my very bones. _

_I felt my body lose all control, and to protect myself I blocked my mind from it. Dimitri wasn't here this time to talk me back from it. I was alone._

_I'll always be alone. _

_I don't know how much time had passed, but when I came to, I was being restrained by four guardians, and I was covered in blood. _

_There was a bloody mass of meat three feet away from me. On the opposite side of that thing stood Lissa, her face a picture of horror. _

_Horror at me. _

_On the way back to Court the guardians restraining me told me what I had done in elaborate and detailed terms. But when all is said and done, I'd beat the living shit out of that man. I'd gone batshit crazy, completely unresponsive and damn homicidal. _

_I'd compromised the secrecy of our races, and I'd put Lissa in danger. _

_Of myself._

_I completely accepted this, because what they didn't know, what maybe even Lissa didn't know, was that I was protecting her. From herself._

_I know her better than anyone else, including Lissa herself. I knew that if she had of continued to do what she'd been doing to that man then she wouldn't have been able to live with herself afterwards. What she'd done to Jesse had been nothing compared to what she'd been about to do to that man today. _

_And I couldn't live with myself if she hated herself, but to protect her, I'd let her be disgusted with me. _

I pulled myself from the memory and leaned back into Danny's warm, hard body. "I thought that she'd get over it. That she'd be weird around me for a while… but I never once thought that she wouldn't forgive me." My voice shook from remembering how hurt I'd been at the way Lissa would look at me, or the fact that it never escaped my notice that she wouldn't be alone with me.

Danny pulled me tighter in his embrace and I felt the gentle press of his lips against my hair.

"She didn't understand what the darkness did to me. She didn't understand that I felt exactly how she felt when the darkness took her over. And then one day, it all just blew up. She blamed me for every bad thing that had ever happened to her. She told me that I was ruining her life with my 'selfish antics' and my 'lack of self-control.' She told me that she never wanted to see me again."

"So what made you end up leaving? From what it sounds like, you'd never have left her if it meant that she wasn't protected…" It was the first time Danny spoke during my retelling, and even though he only asked a question, I let myself relax a little bit from the lack of judgement in his voice.

"The first guy I ever loved was Dimitri Belikov, my mentor at the time. Long story short, he was turned into a Strigoi and then turned back. After his change back he was a different person to the man I'd known. He told me that he didn't love me anymore. He told me to leave." I shuddered as I remembered the coldness that had been in his voice. "You're right, I never would've left under normal circumstances, but Lissa had all but convinced me that I was ruining her life, and not just hers but everyone around me as well. I was convinced that I was making the two people I cared about most miserable. At the time, I told myself that I was leaving to protect them. I really did believe it, too."

"And then?"

I smiled, and even though he couldn't see it, he must've sensed it because I felt his lips curve into a smile against the top of my head. "And then when I met you, I realized that leaving was the only way I could've protected myself. They _shouldn't always _come first." Back then, I would've felt almost blasphemous at even thinking those words, but I'd come to peace with things since then. Dhampirs are just as precious as Moroi.

"And well… you know the rest."

He laughed lightly before quickly becoming serious again. "We can leave you know. We can get out of this town and never look back."

I didn't even have to think about my answer. "No. I need to be sure that you're going to be alright, and if I have to face Lissa and Dimitri, then I will. You're my future, and nothing will stand in my way of keeping you safe," I declared, meaning each and every word of it.

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><p><strong>AN; Just to clear things up, in one of the first two chapters, I wrote that Rose had gotten her promise mark at a Russian Academy with Viktoria. But now that I know where I'm going with this story, I've changed it so that Rose left after Dimitri was turned back and after she graduated. <strong>

**On another note, I didn't want to get too into the memory and explain in excruciating detail exactly what happened because its not _that _important. The main thing you need to know is just that Lissa and Rose both blame each other for everything. **

**Let me know if ya liked it :)**


	9. Chapter 9

"Yeva, cut the evasive shit and tell me what's up with Danny," I demanded. We were sitting in the living room, me and Danny cuddled on the couch, with Yeva in the arm chair adjacent to us. I didn't care where anyone else was, as long as they stayed out of my way.

She smiled at us, showing us her gums. "All you had to do was ask," she said.

_Don't attack her_, I told myself. _She's a nice old lady, and you don't beat up old ladies._

Yeah… I didn't believe myself either.

"The legend tells of a young man, fierce and brave, but very foolish," she began, a distant look in her eyes. "One day, he met a woman. She was very beautiful, very charming, and very evil. She tricked him into helping her."

"Tricked him how?" Danny asked, leaning forward in the seat, while I settled myself in for a long story.

"Ah, you see, her Uncle was the… I do not know the English word for it, but I would say 'king' perhaps? Her Uncle killed her lover after catching him stealing from his estate and she wanted revenge. She spun a tale to this young man and his foolishness mixed with his bravery made him set out to kill her Uncle."

Danny leaned back, and nestled me in his arms, resting his chin on my head. I damn near purred in contentment.

"He took his brother and sister with him to the castle. The three siblings stormed the castle and took out the entire Guard. However, the girl did not tell them of her Uncle's magic, the 'king' was impressed and loathed to kill such fierce warriors. The Uncle cast a spell on the three of them, turning them into his weapons. They were under his control. The girl was his last line of defence, his personal bodyguard. The older brother was a scout, I would say. He would be sent on missions to gain intelligence. The younger brother, the one that started it all, was the 'king's' hit man. He would take out threats to the 'king'."

I hated to say it, but I was enraptured in the story. For a brief moment I'd forgotten that Yeva was meant to be explaining what was wrong with Danny. "So what happened? Did they realise they were being controlled?" I asked.

I felt Danny smile against my hair, muffling a laugh, which made me playfully hit his arm.

Yeva gave us both an indulged look, like she was watching two kittens fight. "They never realized that for over half their lives they were nothing but tools, even after the 'king' died from old age. They went on with their lives and went their separate ways, never knowing the truth. They went down in history as the Serpent Sword and the Fire spear and shield. Over time people forgot that they weren't actually what their names suggested."

I felt my face scrunch up in confusion. "So, you're saying that people think they were actually a sword, shield and spear? Not real people?"

She nodded, and her wispy white hair fell forward, making her suddenly appear ominous. All she needed was a fluffy white cat and an evil chuckle.

"That's all well and good," Danny said from behind me. "But what's that got to do with me?"

"Ah, there's more to the story," she answered, a knowing glint in her eye.

I felt Danny tense behind me, and I knew he was getting sick of being diverted. I felt the same way, but I knew that there was no pushing Yeva. She was like a stubborn mule, if you push her, she'll dig her feet into the ground and stay there just to spite you. I snuggled back into Danny, and I felt him relax around me.

"The curse that the 'king' put on the siblings was very complex and not many people know this. He knew that one day he would die, and he wanted no one else to take control of his weapons. So he made it so that when he died they would all go in different directions for as long as his magic lasted after his death, and forget," she said, looking very much like a cat with cream.

"So that's why they all went their separate ways?" I asked, intrigued despite myself.

"Yes, but if they were ever to come into contact with each other again, they would become the tools the 'king' made them to be."

"So what? Surely they're all dead, unless the king granted them with immortality," I scoffed, trying to make light of the worry coursing through me. Everything Yeva had said was clicking in my mind, suddenly things were making sense, and I hated it.

"They are indeed dead," she stated. I let out a relieved sigh that was abruptly pulled back in when she continued speaking. "But the sons and daughters of their great-great-grandsons and great-great-granddaughters live on today."

We sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, letting it all sink in. My mind was rejecting the implications even as my heart knew it was true.

Danny was the descendant of this Sword, making _him _the Sword.

"But if Danny's reverting back into a weapon… then doesn't that mean the others are nearby?"

Yeva didn't answer. She didn't need to. If what she was saying is true, then Danny really is this Sword and his long lost family is close enough to him to turn him into a mindless death machine. I didn't like this one bit.

"I have a family?" Danny asked incredulously. I snuck a look at his face over my shoulder and saw that his eyes were wide with a look of wonder on his handsome face.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Of course that was the part that he decided to focus on. Family. Danny's never had one before; he grew up being passed from foster home to boys home to foster home again, until he ran away to live on the streets.

"How do I know who they are? Can I meet them?" He asked.

I felt rage fill me even as my heart was breaking. I turned away out of his grasp, standing up to face him. "You wanna meet them?" I almost screamed.

He nodded ever so slightly.

"Fine! Go ahead! Go get turned into a mindless zombie again and see if I care!" That time I did scream. I spun around and stormed out of the house.

I knew that I was being irrational.

My anger kept me running though.

How could he? How could he want to meet the people that'll take him away from me?

Still, I ran.

I went through _hell, _seeing him like a zombie, and he wants to risk going back to that state? Just to meet his family? It's not like they'd even be closely related. You'd barely even call them distant relatives.

I kept running.

I didn't understand. I couldn't understand. Growing up, I never knew who my dad was, and my mother was barely present. I had a family, but we weren't close. In fact, I resented both of them. The dad I only just met, and the mom I hardly knew. But I guess I had Lissa's family. They were there when my own wasn't. They made me feel loved. When they died, it hurt so, so much.

I slowed to a walk.

Maybe a part of me did understand. I've always known what a family feels like. I was an honorary member of the Dragomir family, and when they died, my own family started stepping in. I've been alone for a lot of my life, but at least I've always known what a family was.

Danny hasn't.

How can I take the chance for him to know that feeling away?

I turned around, suddenly feeling so ashamed of the way I acted. If Danny wants to try and find them, then I'll be there for him to try to make it easier.

I started walking back to house, only to barge into someone. They dropped their bags full of groceries, sending the items in all directions.

I looked up at them to apologise.

The words died in my mouth as I found myself looking into a pair of deep brown eyes I'd never forget.

"Dimitri," I whispered.

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><p><strong>AN; Yay! I updated! Thoughts? :)<strong>

**Oh, and big thanks for the reviews guys. I can't respond to the Guest ones, so I'm saying thanks here. They all make me smile :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN; Okay, so I'm not really sure about the rating system and all that so I'll just put a lil warning here for this chapter because VA is a YA series and all that. Rose gets a bit of loving in this chapter, nothing explicit or detailed, but I thought that it's better to be safe than sorry. Enjoy :)**

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><p>One minute I'm standing there staring at his dark brown eyes, the next I'm engulfed in his arms. The years flew away from me and I felt like nothing had changed between us, that we were back thinking everything was alright. I was gonna be my best friend's guardian, and he was gonna be Christian's so that we could be together.<p>

I allowed myself to relax in his embrace for a split second, enjoying his warmth, strong arms and sharp scent.

Then I remembered Danny. Things were different now, and I couldn't let myself forget reality for a future that I had once thought would be mine. I tried to break from his iron hold, but he wouldn't let me go.

"Dimitri, please let go," I said, feeling trapped.

"Please, Roza," he whispered. "I need this. I need to know you're real."

I stayed still and let him hold me, understanding his need to know that I'm fine. I was the same when I got Danny back.

After a few awkward moments for me, he let me go and stepped back.

"I'm sorry, Rose," he said, his eyes boring into my own.

I shrugged and said, "It's okay."

"I don't mean for right now, I mean for back then." His eyes leave mine and focus on the ground where his all but forgotten groceries are.

"It's okay," I repeated. "I kept pushing myself onto you when you didn't want me. I get it." There was bitterness in my tone that had no place being there.

He looked at me again, and took a deep breath before saying, "That's the thing. I did want you, and I hated myself for it. I hated myself for what I put you through, and every time I saw you I remembered how horrible I'd been."

I was shaking my head before he'd even finished talking. I didn't want to hear this. I didn't want to know that his love hadn't faded. I didn't want to know. I tried to cover my rising panic with flippancy. "Are we really having a heart-to-heart in the middle of the street, Comrade?"

His old nickname burned my tongue as I said it, but still I forced myself to. Satisfaction swelled in me at him flinching when I said it.

"Roza, please, can we just talk?" He asked. His words were desperate, but his tone was cold, guarded; a true guardian voice to match his guardian face.

I shook my head, again. "I can't do this, now."

"_Please." _Some desperation cracked his calm appearance, and I found myself nodding, hating to see him like this.

Wordlessly, we picked up the fallen food and shoved them back in the bags. We sat down on the curb, a couple of feet separating us.

After a few minutes of silence, the tension got to me. "You wanted to talk, so talk," I snapped.

He sighed, his head dropping to rest against his raised knees. I mirrored his position. "I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but I never stopped loving you. How could I? You're in my every thought, my every memory. When I heard that you'd… died…" he trailed off, his voice cracking with emotion.

"When I thought that you were dead, I died, too," he said. He looked sideways at me. I could see his heart and soul bared right there in his eyes. "I stopped living. I was a robot, a zombie. Nothing but a shell of—"

"Don't you dare say that," I interrupted, my anger rising. He'd hit a nerve. He didn't know what a fucking zombie was. He didn't know what it's like to be trapped in your own body. I'd only had a glimpse of it when Danny experienced that very feeling, and Dimitri sure as hell didn't know what the fuck he was talking about.

"Don't you dare say you were a zombie. You don't even know what that means."

"Please, Rose. Just let me explain," he pleaded.

I made a 'go on' gesture with my hand, the fight leaving me.

"I know that I treated you badly. I know that I should never have let you leave. I should've been there for you with whatever went down with Vasilisa." He looked back down between his legs. "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."

"You're right, you can't," I said. "I don't want to hear it."

"Just let me finish!" He snapped. His eyes were burning, and I knew that he was close to losing his hard won control. "I'll let you go," he said, softly, a sharp contrast to his voice only moments ago. "I'll let you go, because I can see that you're happy with Danny. But Roza," he said, his hand reaching out to grasp my own. "Please don't disappear on me again."

"Dimitri, I—"

"I need you in my life, Rose. I need you. I need to know that you're okay. I know that you've moved on, and I'm happy for you, but I just need you to be in my life. Be my friend, please, just be my friend," he said.

"I don't know if I can," I whispered. "There's too much shit between us. How can we be friends after everything?"

"I don't know, but please just promise me that you'll try."

Could I really be friends with the first love of my life? The first guy to love me back? The first and only person to truly break my heart? Do I even know how to be friends with someone? I made my best friend hate me, and I never let myself care enough about the others to be hurt when they let me walk out of their lives. But Dimitri was right. He was a huge part of my life, and until very recently my heart had ached for him. I'd hated him and loved him with equal passion. But now I'm solid with Danny. I'd given my heart, soul and body to Danny, which then healed my heart. Danny patched up the shattered remains of me so that I could move on. Is ignoring Dimitri moving on, or is it clinging to the past?

"Okay," I said. "I'll try."

A smile lit his face, even as tears brimmed in his eyes. "That's enough for me."

I stood up, hating my own eyes for betraying me with traitor tears. "I've got to get back to Danny. I've got to fix things."

Dimitri nodded briskly, quickly following me in standing up. He picked up the bags.

We stood there awkwardly for a heart-beat. What would friends do now? Hug? Hand shake? God, I'm so out of my depth.

"I've got to get a few more things," Dimitri said.

"Okay," I said. "I'll see you back at the house later, then."

He nodded at me before we both went our separate ways. I didn't look back as I started jogging back to the Belikova house.

Danny was waiting outside for me when I got there. He looked up and saw me running towards him. Wordlessly we ran to each, our arms wrapping around each other as my lips found his. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as his tongue found a home in my mouth. He walked with me wrapped around his strong body until I felt something hard against my back.

"I missed you," he murmured, his lips moving to trail kisses down my neck.

I arched into him, feeling the heat build in the pit of belly. "I'm sorry," I gasped out, he'd found that sweet spot just above my collarbone.

"I know," he whispered against my skin, his breath cool against my flushed skin. "Me too."

"I'll support you in whatever you do," I said. I could feel him hot and heavy right at my centre and I needed him more than I needed to breathe at that moment.

He looked at me, his forehead pressed to mine. His eyes were a fierce deep blue now, flaring with his emotion. I could feel his lips move against my own as he spoke. "You're my family, now, Marie. You're all I need."

With that said, we were gone. He took me hard and fast against the house; our need to be connected—to feel each other, over taking our desire to make love. We fucked, and I'd never felt more whole before in my life.

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><p><strong>AN; Things are looking up :) Let me know what you think.<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

We were at an impasse. Danny had decided that I was all the family that he needed, but after seeing his reaction to the mere possibility of him having relatives (no matter how distantly related they would be) I felt horrible taking the chance of finding them away from him—especially considering the fact that they must be physically close to him because he'd gone catatonic.

We had gotten into another argument about it, but this time we were on opposite sides. I wanted him to find them, and he said that he didn't need to.

Now, we were at a rocky truce, where we just didn't talk about it.

Things with Dimitri were equally strange. We were being cordial to each other, friendly even, but I found it too weird being around him. Which was why I was currently staying with Oksana and Mark. That way, I only saw him if he decided to come over, which wasn't often considering he didn't feel comfortable leaving Lissa without his protection.

Lissa.

I hadn't seen her since her blow up when she first saw me, and for that I was thankful. That was a can of worms best kept closed.

I was lazing about at Mark and Oksana's when I heard someone knock at the door. I assumed that it was Danny, since he'd gone over to the Belivoks with Oksana while I was still fast asleep. He'd left me a note saying that he wanted to know more about the details of the curse the king put on the three idiot siblings.

I was going to go over there for lunch, but I still had a couple of hours until then.

I got up, and flung the door open, a huge grin brightening my face at the thought of Danny on the other side.

As I took in the slender form with pale blond hair standing in front of me, I felt my smile slip.

"What the hell do you want?" I growled to Lissa.

She wore a look of embarrassment and regret on her face. Once upon a time I would've been able to tell if it was real or not, but too much time had passed, and I didn't even know her any more.

"Can I come in?" She asked, her voice soft and sounding like she was close to tears.

I considered slamming the door in her face in reply, but decided against it. She'd shown real bravery by coming here—it was stupid, but still, I could respect that. Plus, I wasn't the same impulsive Rose anymore. I was Marie, and I could civil and cordial when I wanted to be. Besides, slamming a door in the Queen's face is probably a criminal offense or something.

I nodded, silently opening the door wider and stepping back.

Hesitantly, she stepped inside and swept past me, her long pale hair flying out behind her. She perched on the couch that I had been lying on. Gritting my teeth, I sat down in the arm chair opposite her.

The minutes dragged by as neither of us spoke, or even looked in the general direction of each other. The tension level was rising, and I knew I'd snap if I didn't do something about it. Though, maybe snapping would be a good thing, since the last time I did it, it had resulted in her not seeing me for five years.

"So, how have you been?" She asked.

It took all my self-control to not throw her out by her perky little pony-tail. "What do you want?" I demanded, cutting right to the chase.

"I want to apologise," she said softly. My gaze shot to her then, one eyebrow shooting up. Did she mean for her going off her nut at me three days ago? Or for six years ago? "For the other day. It was rude of me, and I was in shock. I never should've spoken to you like that."

She can kiss my ass for all I care.

Still, I searched her gaze, looking for sincerity. But I just couldn't read her well enough anymore.

"To show you that I mean it, I wanted to help you. I think I've found another person like Daniel," she said.

"Who the fuck's Daniel?" I asked, perplexed and wary.

"Ah, the man you're with…?" She stated, though it was more like a question.

"Oh, right… Danny," I said, wondering how she knew what he was like, let alone how she'd found someone else so quickly.

Apparently she could see the questions on my face because she quickly explained. "Guardian Belikov explained it all to me last night."

I was both curious and angry. He must've been listening in when Yeva explained things to us, but how had I not noticed him?

"So," she continued. "I called some people last night, and a name popped up in our system. He works at one of our Russian Academies, but he's neither Dhampir nor Moroi. Also, he has some markings on his chest. Markings that I've heard Daniel—er, Danny—has."

Alarm bells were still ringing. Why on earth was Lissa doing this for me? Why had she even looked into it in the first place? It was probably for her own curiosity, but I didn't believe that. Otherwise, why was she sharing this with me? Instead of asking her that, I asked something else I'd been wondering. "How'd he come to work in the Academy if he's not a Dhampir?"

Her eyes had a far-away look, like she was reciting something she'd read. "He grew up with a Dhampir family, and until he hit puberty, it was believed that he was one. He has the same—if not better—abilities as Dhampirs. Very few people know the truth about him."

"Why are you telling me all this?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"Like I said, I wanted to say sorry for earlier, and I wanted this to be a peace offering. I miss you, Rose." There was something in her eyes that I couldn't identify—something that made me extremely wary.

"You could've just sent flowers," I muttered, more to myself than to her. "So, who is this dude?" I asked, louder.

"Fenton Chirkoff, Head Guardian at an Academy not too far from here, actually."

I felt the blood drain from my face as I heard his name. I knew Fenton Chirkoff. He was the guardian that saved my life so many years ago. He was the man that had somehow known where I was that night. He'd been keeping tabs on me, and I felt my stomach want to empty itself as I pondered why. Only one theory came to mind, but it was one that I couldn't even begin to consider.

"I'd thought as much," Lissa stated. "He knows that you're one of the three, doesn't he?"

I rushed to the bathroom, my thoughts said aloud by Lissa was too much for me. I couldn't deal with this. I needed to talk to Danny.

I rinsed my mouth out and wiped my face, before sprinting out of the house, not even bothering to stop to listen to what Lissa was calling out to me. I made it to the Belikov's in record time, bursting through the door, my eyes searching the room frantically for Danny. I found him sitting on the couch staring at me.

"Marie? What's wrong? He questioned, coming over to me to wrap his arms around my quivering body. I couldn't help but flinch at his touch.

He noticed, and frowned but he didn't draw back.

"Am I one of the three?" I demanded of Danny, of Yeva, of anyone that would listen.

"What?" Danny asked, pulling back from me to stare at me in shock.

Before I could answer, I heard Yeva cackling from her chair. "What!" I all but shouted.

She muttered something in Bulgarian that I couldn't understand or even hear. Paul popped up from behind the couch, a well-loved toy car in his hands. "Great-grandmother says that you are being preposterous."

"How?" I demanded, my tone still hard.

Danny had come out of his shock and answered me. "Think about it, baby. We've been together for five years. Five years of nothing like this happening. If you were like me, it would've happened sooner. Plus, you're Dhampir through and through. No tattoos, no funny eyes, and no weird catatonic state," he said, his voice hushed and holding no amount of judgement. Unlike Yeva, who was still cackling away at my expense.

"He is wise, this man," she said, in a rare show of English.

I couldn't help but agree. He _was _wise, unlike me, who had jumped straight to worrying, without stopping to think about the logic.

But then, why had Lissa said that I was one of three? What did she have to gain by making me think I was like Danny? The urge to throttle her tiny little neck flittered through me, but I held off, needing her alive to answer my questions. Was anything she'd said real?

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><p><strong>AN; So I typed this with one hand, so please forgive any and all mistakes. I broke my hand the other day, like full on broke it, the doctor said that it is broken in three places and that I was very lucky that the bone didn't break through the skin. Can I get a sarcastic 'well done'? <strong>

**I've got this bloody huge cast on it, which my cat thinks is a toy for him, so while I was typing this with one hand, he was trying to chew the other. Awesome. Sorry, that I'm not going to reply to last chapters reviews, my hand needs a break. But I appreciate them all! :)**

**Anyway, now that you know my life story, lol, can I get your thoughts on the chapter? Did I scare you there for even just a second? **


	12. Chapter 12

**Lissa POV**

Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors. Regret is often a feeling of sadness, shame, embarrassment, depression, annoyance or guilt, after one acts in a manner and later wishes not to have done so. Regret is distinct from guilt, which is a deeply emotional form of regret — one which may be difficult to comprehend in an objective or conceptual way.

I felt neither regret, nor guilt. Both were worthless emotions. What was done, was done, and no one could take it back. Yes, there are things that I probably shouldn't have done, but this wasn't one of them.

When I'd believed that Rose was dead, I'd changed. I'd had to. Always, even after she'd abandoned me, I'd always believed that she would protect me. And after she abandoned me, I was still safe. But when news of her death had reached me, the threats starting rolling in, and the attacks started coming. I could only believe that Rose had still been protecting me. That her death was the only reason the things threatening me were alive long enough to even make their threats be known.

But now, to know that she was alive and well the entire time, and that she hadn't cared at all about looking after me, I was hurt, but most of all I was angry.

How dare she leave me to fend for myself? Sure, I had dozens of guardians protecting me from even getting a paper cut, but the only one that was a match for Rose was Dimitri, and after the news of her death, the life seemed to have drained from him. His aura was dim, almost completely washed out, and even though he was still the best guardian, it was almost unbearable to be in the same room as him.

Rose was so, so selfish, hurting us both like this.

But I had a plan. I had a plan that would make everything right again. Everything would end up how they should have. This was all just one big mistake, a mistake that Rose's pride wouldn't let her fix. Well, I'd be the bigger person and fix it. I had to, for my own safety.

After Rose tore out of the house, I wiped the grin from my face and left too, albeit in a much more dignified manner. I was the Queen, after-all.

I strolled down the road the opposite way to the Belikov's place. Wouldn't want to run into anyone there that recognized me despite my disguise.

From the large purse slung over my shoulder, I pulled out a worn pair of pants that I'd stolen from the closet of whosever room I was staying in. They were far too large for me, and were very grubby. Next, I pulled on a thick sweater that was beyond ridiculous for me, but it worked to hide my slender frame and hopefully mask my gender. Lastly, I threw on a pair of unisex sports sunglasses that I'd bought on the way over here, and a black cap. I tucked my hair up under the cap.

I was as protected from the sun as I was going to get, and as best disguised as I could manage.

I continued on my way, I had to find a place to hide out in before the sun became too hot.

Once upon a time, I never would've thought of something like this, but it also would've never needed to be necessary in the first place. Rose should've never made me resort to this. How could she let me believe that she was dead for all this time? If I had of known, maybe then things would've been different. I wouldn't have had to be terrified for the past five years.

A small part of me found it a little ironic, that the main reason that I accepted this trip to Russia, was to somehow find and meet the two elusive Strigoi hunters. I'd hoped to employ the female as a guardian because of how much she reminded me of Rose.

Now that I'd found out she, in fact, _was _Rose, well, my plan hadn't changed. I would still offer her a place in my guardian, but I knew that I'd have to go about it differently. I couldn't just compel her, Rose had always been good at resisting it, or quickly snapping out of it, so compelling her long term would be impossible.

I kept walking down the road. I'd heard that these roads were dangerous, so they were exactly what I needed.

I found an abandoned barn behind a few scattered trees. The barn had a huge ceiling and was a faded red colour. The door was huge and I wasn't if I could even open it. I grabbed the old tattered length of rope hanging from the door and pulled. Surprisingly the door slid open quite easily, as though it got a lot of use. I ignored that thought, and entered. There was hay everywhere, lining almost every surface. Some of the hay had weird patterns staining it and the smell was awful. There were two old and stained mattresses pushed up against one of the walls.

I dropped my bag by my feet and gingerly went over to them. They didn't smell too bad but the odd coloured stains were a bit off putting. I shrugged out of the over sized top I was wearing and placed it on top of the mattress closest to me. I laid down on it, exhausted from my daylight travels.

…

"Well, well, well... What do we have here?"

A deep, husky voice woke me from my dreamless sleep. I was surrounded in darkness, unable to get my bearings. The lumpy old mattress beneath me reminded my of where I was. I rubbed my eyes as I waited impatiently to adjust to the little light. There were two inky figures standing about ten feet away from where I lay. Even in this light, it was hard to miss their crimson eyes.

I sat up, a small smile forming on my lips. This was perfect; I hadn't even needed to go looking for them, they'd found their way to me. Though this did alter the time crunch. I'd need to stall them for longer to give Rose and Dimitri more time to find me.

No problem. I'd never tried to compel a Strigoi before, so just in case it didn't work, I'd have to brush up on my sweet talking skills.

I stood up, noticing that they weren't at all concerned that I'd get away from them. I wasn't either.

I touched that place in my head that the magic dwelled, pulling what I needed to me. My voice was calm and soothing when I spoke, laced with so much compulsion, that it would fry a human's brain. "Find a chair, and tie me up. You may only blacken one eye," I said.

A space of a few heartbeats passed and the pair didn't move, they stood staring at me as I started to sweat. This had to work, it just had to.

"Now!" I commanded.

In a blink, the Strigoi had blasted off, only to be back a second later holding a chair and some rope. Delicately, they placed me in the chair and tied the ropes around my wrist and legs, welding me to the chair. But it was all so loose that I could've just stood up and been free.

"Tighter," I command. My voice is strained from the compulsion, it was taking all of my energy to keep it up. But they must've been young, for my compulsion to override their own, since Strigoi's compulsion was known to be a lot stronger than a Moroi's. Though we'd never put a spirit welding Moroi to the test.

They obeyed, and then without warning a fist shot out and hit me right on my eye. I felt tears spring forth from the pain that blasted through me. Perfect.

As a last command I said, "You will not hurt me further, only keep me here. You will not question why, it is all perfectly normal."

"Yes," they both said tonelessly.

With that, I dropped the compulsion, it was becoming too much for me. Sweat had broken out across my forehead and I felt something wet sliding over my lips from my nose.

A cold malicious look entered both their gazes at the same time. They each took a step forward, but stopped almost straight away. They stood there staring at me, their desire for my blood as clear as day, but my lasting commands kept them at bay.

It was all going swimmingly, soon Rose would save me, and we'd all be happy again.

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><p><strong>AN; Anyone pick up on the state of Lissa's mentality? <strong>

**My hands not much better, which is why it took longer to get this up here, so thank you for your patience and sorry for any mistakes I didn't catch. Huge thanks for the reviews, I'll try and reply to them this time, but we'll see how that goes :)**


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